Monday, January 28, 2013

End of day.

As I sit and reflect on my day, I am immediately drawn to thinking about what brought me here.

I was once an Airman in the United States Air Force.

I wore a uniform. I followed a code of conduct and I did my best to obey the orders of the officers appointed over me.

Today I spent time with a group of people who swore the same thing. They raised their respective right hands and told an officer that they would support and defend the constitution of the United States of America.

I will bleed for those that I care about. Many other people that I meet in life will not.

This bothers me.

It bothers me because I do not know any other way to live my life other than to find a cause and be so dedicated to it that I am willing to die for it. Whatever that cause may be.

It may sound insane to some, but this is how I have spent the last twelve years of my life. Dedication to a cause greater than myself was commonplace.

In the civilian sector, it does not seem so prevalent.

Today I spent the entire day with fellow wounded combat veterans, engaging in team sporting events.

We played basketball, volleyball, and forged new friendships with common goals.

I was a part of a team just ten months ago that was always ready to die for one another in combat should the day require it.

Combat Veterans hold a common bond of having been exposed to serious, life altering events that tend to shape their decision making process for the rest of their existence.

I am a combat veteran who is attempting to make right by all of the poor decisions that I made over the past few years. Many of us attempt to self medicate with a myriad of substance in order to mask the pain and suffering we feel in relation to our combat experiences.

A few of my close friends committed suicide in recent years... all related to their combat experiences.

I myself even considered suicide years ago with the hopes that it would solve all of my problems.

Thankfully, I never seriously followed through, and I developed a great support network of people that care about Steve Otero the person, rather than Steve Otero, the cash cow.

I understand in the normal world, we all have to make a living, but we all also have the choice to determine how many people we either infulence or hurt in order to reach our goals in life.

 I finished my afternoon today with two hours of seated volleyball. Some people may read this and think about people sitting on the ground, not moving around much, and tapping the ball over their heads with the greatest of intentions, fun.

After experiencing the thrill of the competition firsthand, I can now say that most of these people are crazy! The good kind of crazy that picks you up at the bar after a long night of drinking.

Volleyball was a truly mind boggling experience.

My poor little rear end hurts extremely. Its like I took a wad of 1000 grit sandpaper and rubbed it on my bare bottom really... not the most pleasant feeling in the world.

Tomorrow I will do the same thing that I did today once again, but this time, I am equipped with the ammunition which will hopefully carry me into the Warrior Games final events.

It is my goal to give my all in order to see once again what exactly my all is. Those of us whom have served in actual combat, have a generally different perspective on life in general.

And this perspective can either be extremely helpful or detrimental, only time tells all.

I need to get some sleep now, but will be reporting back on tomorrows events as they happen.

This competitive experience is so very unique in ways that I wonder what delectable treats life has in store for me next.

No comments:

Post a Comment